In Her Dreams (Becky)

In her dreams,
ppl walking round looking thier best, Scratch that- a mess!
Call it thier own style , run a mile in some heels
I'm sitting up here wonderin why people won't just keep it real.
I want some reality.
I mean, I wish I did, but I didn't pop out the womb with designer jeans,
My nakedness the same as the baby's in the crib across from me.
Fresh brain, not affected; ready for knowledge to soak it in.
Unknowingly innocent, naievely uncorrupted thinking evryone in the word can win.
In your dreams! So untrue
Out the blue people are forced to realize that you have to give it to get it, that you have to fit it to live it
That you have to get in where you fit in, where you end ups where you livin.
Where its comfortable for you or for the person looking out for her, him, she ,we ,you , me?
themselves.
But we not friends so we don't know that we both be geeking off the same tv show,
every.single. wednesday. faithfully
Cuz one lives in a world where breasts and thighs= V.I.P. She in there.
Where the other, lets call her Becky in the mind set where she could really care
less. she said her breasts don't make you who you are "but they will get you far!"says the chick in the club
giving out all her love not knowing that her bestfriend is right next to her ,blind to her appearance
Her presence an interference
to her social image having damaging effects
not realizing that they could be spending a whole wednesday doing thier nails and toes watching thier mutually favorite tv show.
yeah right, please!
In. Becky's. Dreams.

15 Days Of LoveDetox... I'm Ready

DayOne: Delete all pictures from computer hardrive. Yeah, we looked good at Junior Prom, but I'm not in high school no more!! click,click: DELETED.

Yeah, the truth is, I kinda want to keep them. I mean, not only are they great memories but we look pretty good too!.. *sigh*. Well, I gotta do what I gotta do, and its no good having to be reminded of the past everyday, a past that is no longer the present and most likely won't be the future, so.. here I go!



* this is day one of a fifteen day program i have for myself.. allowing myself only these days to suck it up and move on. I have too much going for me, too much life to live to wallow in despair. I plan to be fully "recovered" by the end of this, so friends, i need all the help I can get lol! don't let me talk about (for all you Harry Potter Fans): hewhomustnotbenamed lol OR tell you the story for the umpteenth time! Slap me if you have to! -Well, I don't think you would have to but tell me the truth. Even thought it may hurt, I want to get through this.. I have to get through this =)

A Song For Michael.

Can you feel it ? Can you hear it?
My whole world is dying. The whole world is crying
out for you
It's ,Black and White so simple right?
Everyone has to die, I sigh
I hope he told the angels "no"
"Heaven can wait , don't wanna go"
I hope he tried, or did he Scream ?
I hope he danced; he made me dream
made me Keep (the) faith , and made me jam
was exactly like my surrogate dad
He brightened up my younger years
made my Childhood now I'm in tears,
introduced me to Ben , let me paint the town
He made me Smile when I was down
He helped me see my light within
and showed me how to give and live
I want you back , I need you BAD
In my eyes, you are "The man!"
Your music makes the world go round
And in your words, I have found
and eternal happiness unabound
...I Cry ...
Although you are gone and its undeniable true
I will never, and Just Can't Stop Loving You

- June, 26, 2009

Love This:" Love Like" by Shihan

I want a love like me thinking of you thinking of me thinking of you type love or me telling my friends more than I’ve ever admitted to myself about how I feel about you type love or hating how jealous you are but loving how much you want me all to yourself type love
or seeing how your first name just sounds so good next to my last name.

and shit- I wanted to see how far I could get without calling you and I barely made it out of my garage.

See, I want a love that makes me wait until she falls asleep then wonder if she’s dreaming about us being in love type love or who loves the other more or what she’s doing at this exact moment or slow dancing in the middle of our apartment to the music of our hearts.

Closing my eyes and imagining how a love so good could just hurt so much when she’s not there and shit I love not knowing where this love is headed type love.

And check this-
I wanna place those little post-it notes all around the house so she never forgets how much I love her type love

then not have enough ink in my pen to write all the love type love and hope I make her feel as good as she makes me feel type love and (I want her to distract me from whatever I’m doing type love)

and just like in high school I wanna spend hours on the phone not saying shit and then fall asleep and then wake up with her right next to me and smell her all up in my covers type love
and I wanna deal with my friends making fun of me the way I made fun of them when they went through the same kind of love type love.

The only difference is this is one of those real type loves
I wanna try counting the ways I love her then lose count in the middle just so I could start all over again

(I wanna breakdown the time we spend into seconds just so it sounds like we spend more time together type love)
(and also like in high school) I wanna celebrate one of those one-month anniversaries even though they ain’t really anniversaries but doing it just ‘cause it makes her happy type love

and I wanna fall in love with the melody the phone plays when her number’s dial into it then talk to you until I lose my breath, she leaves me breathless, but with the expanding of my lungs I inhale all of her back into me.

I want a love that makes me need to change my cell phone calling plan to something that allows me to talk to her longer ‘cause in all honesty, I want to avoid one of them high cell phone bill type loves

and I want a love that makes me regret how small my hands are I mean the lines on my palms don’t give me enough time to love you as long as I’d like to type love

and I want a love that makes me st-st-st-stutter just thinking about how strong this love is type love and I want a love that makes me want to cut off all my hair…

Well maybe not all of the hair, maybe like I’d cut the split ends and trim the mustache but it would still be a symbol of how strong my love is for her.

I kind of feel comfortable now so I can tell you this I even be fantasizing about walking out on a green light just dying to get hit by a car just so I could lose my memory, get transported to some third world country just to get treated and somehow meet up again with you so I could fall in love with you in a different language and see if it still feels the same type love.

I want a love that’s as unexplainable as she is

And I’m married, and she’s the one I share this love with.

*I DECIDED TO SHARE THIS BECAUSE I AM THINKING OF STARTING MY OWN VIDEO POETRY BLOG ON YOU TUBE AND THIS IS ONE OF THE POEMS THAT INSIRED IT =)

Nothing Like Twilight.

I recently just started watching the show True Blood even though the season is over! I caught it on On Demand and I love it. I thought it would be some semblance of Twilight and that it was just a cheesy copycat show, but it's really good. It's kinda like a horror/suspense movie broken up into a series. It has a captivating, suspenseful plot and very interesting characters. True Blood is definitely worth watching. I even bought it on sale from Best Buy for 20 bucks. Can't wait for the next season!
5 stars! =) ★★★★★