My Understanding of Love

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Falling In Love: When you first meet someone and or begin to pursue a romantic relationship. Everything is new and there is a certain mystery about two people. There is excitement and a rush because there are so many thing to learn about the other and so many "firsts" to be had- the first date, first kiss, first late night convo into the morning, the first secret to share, etc. There are butterflies and you are somewhat infatuated with that person .. you can't get them off your mind, always want to be with them and you start to imagine a future with this person unconscuiously because everything is so perfect. Unfortunately, if you are in a relationship with someone for a long period of time, the attraction may still be there and you can still connect with that person, but the fluttery feelings you felt before are not there, which makes you think you are not "in love" anymore. Usually one partner takes this as a sign that the relationship is over and then begins to search for a new relationship, one that will give them the same fresh, exciting feelings as before. That's why marriage should only be talked about or even hoped for between two mature adults ready for it, because when the process of falling in love wears off and then the mutual love and respect takes over, they are content with that and are ready to make a committment and stop chasing after those "being in love " feelings.

Loving Someone: Now we all know and associate this feeling with a family member or friend, but aside from that, it can also be applied to two people who still have feelings for eachother and care about them, but may or may not be together. If they are together, this is after the "falling in love" feeling has worn off but they still feel a connection and attraction to that person. To that person they are the most forgiving, sympathetic and caring. They love them. If they were together at one point, but arent anymore, in many cases it it because the other one has went off looking for another "new" feeling to excite them. Especially if they are young- after all, not many young people want to be tied down. If you love someone and they love you back truly, it will never go away. Now that doesn't mean that you are meant to be together or that you will get back together again, but it does mean that if both parties are willing, there is room and hope to try again to make it work.

To Love OR "Have Love" For Someone: Now just like the family and friends association always connected to love, in some cases it can be true. You only see that person as a really good friend who you care about. You wouldn't want to see anything bad happen to them.. You love them or "have love " for them.

*My understanding came from advice and experiences of many different ideas of friends. From thier views, This is what I chose to take from it and let shape my understanding of the different stages of love. My friend, Janessa told me that you have to look at love in stages, or you're doomed for dissappointment- I believe she is right ! I was confused about all of this at one point, but now my understanding is clearer. I hope you find this useful, too!